Thursday, December 01, 2011

Short Story by Memo. The first Pius promo

One of the things I've been doing during my time away was working on a novel called A Pius Man.  It fell under more Catholic than Conservative.  Though it gets more political as time goes on.

Here was a promo in the form of a memo from the head of Vatican Intelligence to the head of Papal Security, with attached resume.


From: Msgr. Xavier O'Brien, SJ []
To: Commander Giovanni Figlia, Vatican Office of Vigilance []
RE: Training.


You will remember our conversation of the 21st relating to the Pope's idea of training the locals for self-defense. Attached, you will find the resume of a security specialist who has been recommended to us for this purpose. He is an American, and a former stuntman—what better way to guarantee nonlethal combat than from someone who had to restrain himself in his job?


From:Giovanni Figlia. []
To: Msgr. Xavier O'Brien, SJ []
RE: Training.

Msgr. O'Brien,

I do not know what to make of your proposal. As I understand it, His Holiness wants the priests and the nuns to be trained in nonlethal combat. I understand, given his days spent in Uganda and the Sudan, he is concerned about someone coming after him. I understand, also, that he remembers that Ali Agca was first apprehended by a nun when he shot Pope John Paul II before the Guard could get a hold of him, and he would like the next nun to try such a thing to be trained for it. I understand this.

But did you READ this resume before sending it to me? He lists his resume by property damage!! And what are those numbers next to each job in his work experience?


From: Msgr. Xavier O'Brien, SJ []
To: Giovanni Figlia. []
RE: Training.


As I said before, this man had been recommended to Josh personally by a dear and trusted friend of the Vatican. Yours is not to reason why....nor is it to finish the rest of the quote...simply evaluate him.

The numbers you ask about are the people killed during each mission. He wants no one to be confused about what he does. Rather commendable, don't you think?


93-20 RODEO DR, CA 11002

To serve with honor, to protect my client, his or her principles, and to end whatever threat is presented. When I am done, the client should be well aware of proper security provisions, weapons, tactics, and should have no need of myself or my personnel. I am currently seeking a position where I can quickly make significant contributions

EDUCATION: Autodidact.

1999: Stuntman of the Year Award;
1999: Presidential Scholarship, St. John’s University Honors Program, (award declined)
1997-2002: Craziest Stuntman of the Year award.
2001: Craziest Stunt of the Year award; Phi Eta Sigma, National Freshman Honor Society

1989-Present: Krav Maga training, under Michael Blitz, Kombat Masters of Long Island (Expert Level)
1989: Weapons training by FBI Agent Alice West (Family Friend)
1997: Quantico Defensive Driving Course, by Agent Emily Tierney (Mother)
1997: Tutoring with Special Agent Candice Delong (family friend)

2000-2002: Lord of the Rings, Stuntman.
January, 2003: Bodyguard, Director Stephen S*******g, Singer Barbara S*******d, (0)
March 2003-Present: CEO, Sean A.P. Ryan and Associates.
April 2003: Bodyguard, Actor Phillipe Nero (est 5, house destroyed)
June 2003: Bodyguard, Actress Mira Gajic (est 40+)
September 2003: Bodyguard, Natalie Boatman (est 50+, Frat house destroyed)

Excellent oral communication skills and interrogation techniques…able to work well with people at all levels with good feedback techniques to assure proper communication…can analyze problems and quickly generate viable solutions… efficient time management abilities…organized and disciplined…excellent interpersonal skills…team player… high-energy level…reliable…have synthesized vast quantities of material and expressed them in audience-friendly form.

26, In excellent health, no children, willing to consider travel/relocation.
References available upon request.

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